Bonjour, mamma.

"i want to paint this city red to hide a blue heart" I recently started to get Friday's off from work (which I'm totally psyched about). i am going to consciously dedicate every friday to having fun since i work through the weekends. me, fallon, c and derek went to a small town outside of the city called "boulder." they are known for their incredible antique stores. we had a lovely lunch, bought adorable pieces and managed to only get yelled at by one shop owner (meanie almost made me cry). my most favorite part was meeting this man: he teaches glass blowing classes and also works in a little antique shop and make's adorable little glass figurines. he told me about his youth and how he got drunk with the beetles, how him and his wife met and how he loves her more every day. -i am honestly thinking about taking some glass blowing lessons from him- you never know what hobby will create your impetus for fulfillment...

me- age 5. las vegas, nv.

My talented, beautiful friend Christianne Mae asked me to help her out on her "gender bender" assignment. Our schedules didn't work out. Our talented friend Fallon McBride was a part of this beautiful project, however. Great work ladies- iloveyou. p.s. Fallon, become a model already. sheesh. Check out christiannemaecarrillo.com for more beauty.

This life I love. It has an incredible cast, setting, soundtrack and resonance. The plot, however, I can't quite figure out. It's always changing. [photo credit: moi] ..but it's definitely one of the best films I have ever seen.

When it rains in the desert- its inhabitants go insane. I am incredibly in love with rain. We took advantage of this wonderful occasion with a parking lot roof photo shoot taken with our little cameras. and yes, I am guilty of being a really bad driver in the rain. Oh and I just found out that I got accepted to University of Oregon's graduate program for Global Advertising. [speaking of rain] I am very excited. [even though I still need to pray about it] Expect rain :)

I promise you will start watching this clip and not be able to pull away. [sigh] This is why I love short films. and love. Favorite part: "and some how communicate some of the overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional. all-encompassing, heart-enriching, mind-expanding, ongoing, never-ending love...." "i have for you.." xo

Any chance I have to get on a stage and sing Journey's "don't stop believing" I embrace with a huge smile. Friends & I went to outdoors art show/concert and then jumped over to one of Las Vegas' finest joints: Champagne's Famous for their Fri-Saturday Karaoke & eclectic gathering of American's, a night at champagne's is surely to be a great night. Highlight of the evening were as follows: 1. The two boys who rode off on into the night on a two-sweater bike 2. The distorted Twitpic that Derek took of C [ http://tinyurl.com/yjfs924 ] 3. Using the men's restroom- hearing man enter- waiting until man left to avoid any extra embarrassment 4. Speaking French with Jose to disguise our spicy conversation 5. Watching Christianne dance alone on the dance floor 6. Singing "I love Rock and Roll" with about 10 of my most loved friends Oh life. You are too beautiful.

[source] Yesterday I worked 15 hours straight. I spoke with some Quebecois men at work. Their accent is so thick- very hard to follow but beautiful too. A brief story: Sometimes in life I feel inclined to tell people things when I think it. Example: If I like your shoes or I think you have beautiful eyes I will most likely say so. Sometimes people appreciate my side comments and other times they go unnoticed [which is fine]. When I walk into work there are so many personalities and situations that are completely foreign to me. [it's a mission field] There is a gentleman at work who is very outspoken, fun, enthusiastic and very good at what he does. I know that lately he has had some serious problems at home with his family. I saw him yesterday and instantly felt God leading to him to say that he is a wonderful person and that he is great at what he does. He looked me in my eyes and thanked me. Two minutes later he approached me and said "this is really weird but what made you ...

[this is her dressed up on New Years. Some wear revealing, wet-seal mannequin type outfits, but Chelsea goes to saver's and turns heads with her sparkle] My sister Chelsea, is quite possibly the most witty, beautiful, intelligent and free-spirited person. She is the kind of person you meet and honestly never forget. She puts people in situations that forces them to be original or different. She challenges you in the most mundane ways and she is sometimes unaware of it. Last May she graduated from UNLV and later got a scholarship to Rutger's University in Camden, NJ. She is a Peace Corps Volunteer and after two semesters in NJ, Chelsea will leave (this summer) to a foreign country for two years. I have to say that this is the most selfless thing you can do. To complete forfeit television, 24 hour grocery stores, movies on the weekends and even a quick, hot meal in order to better an underdeveloped country. Chelsea hasn't found out yet where she will be stationed. Bu...

Happy Birthday Jenna. I love you dearly. Such a beautiful soul you are. We celebrated at String's Las Vegas. An Italian joint. Although I am not a fan of Italian food, It was quite good :] Food & good friends=my anti-drug.

The other night my friends and I cooked dinner, watched paranormal activity [not THAT scary, folks] and baked homemade cookies shaped as hearts. After the movie was over we sat and watched Jersey Shore and laughed at it's vanity. I dozed off and it was a good, good night with girls that understand me better than myself. Choco-chip cookie boobs beat silicone any day ;] As Valentine's Day approaches and I know for certain that my martial status is destined to remain as dry as it currently is, I am mentally preparing myself for an anti-v-day. This is no way a cynical celebration to make those who are happily in relationships to feel bad for their ties to another person. This is my own way of redirecting my meaning of Valentine's day. I feel like America would get much more accomplished if we dedicated the entire year to being foolishly in love with their counter-part and maybe turn Feb 14th into a day that people love on a new person, extend a helping hand, or buy the coffee o...

I adore my French classes so far . Every speaks really well and I see my own French turning a whole new corner. But this semester, my favorite thing about school though is my philosophy class on consciousness. I love that the professor began class with a bit of a boiler plate review of what would be covered. I felt instantly amused by his enthusiasm and love for what he does. He mentioned a symptom called "Zombie-ism." I had never heard from it but from his explanation I began to understand that it's a little something like this.. 1. A zombie is a robot, a system and indistinguishable from you and I (humans) 2. Zombie-ism suggests that being conscious (as you and I are) is not essential in functioning (as you and I are conscious, functioning entities) 3. If this is true, then we discover that consciousness is completely separate from the tangibles the compose this physical world 4. This seperation is what is so mystifying. We have physi...

[credit] Isn't it incredible that there isn't one single human being exactly like YOU? I think it's pretty sweet that no matter how much hurts me in this world I am a living, breathing, original being. I think the most unique thing about me is that I can flourish when surrounded by many people and also when I am in complete solitude. Often times I will turn down a dinner invitation just to sit in my room and listen to Mumford & Sons and write in my journal. I then wake up the next day with all these new ideas and feelings. Vocalizing [or rather, textualizing] that realization felt really good. I am curious.. what is unique about YOU?

Downtown Las Vegas- It's an adventure, always. Greatest venue discovered- In the old hotel Aruba. Great bands and an incredibly spooky atmosphere. Good friends and a digital camera. Feeling comfortable with yourself. Dancing with your eyes closed. Talking film, music, religion, sexuality, travel and insecurities. Grainy photo's with great lights. These are the moments I live for.