6 mois de Mae
SIX months of knowing our sweet Mae Valentine. Her middle name is so fitting and reflective of her love for life and family. My great grandfather Valentine would have been proud to have such a beautiful little namesake.
This half year has flown by. Wanna know the surest way to speed up time? Have a kid. Boy, does life speed up. I can remember stopping for a Jimmy John's sandwich on the way home from the hospital with Mae. I sat in the back seat with both girls to ensure every one continued breathing as Mike ran in to get the sandwiches. I remember watching people go in and out of the sandwich shop going about their normal day as I sat recounting the last few day of my life. I just gave birth to my second baby. I can't believe it. My body is a crazy force! This child is perfect and healthy. I am so hungry. My body hurts. I love these girls. I hope the house is clean when I get home. When will I sleep again?
SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. I love Mae's age now. She has settled into our family. We got the breastfeeding thing down pat. I sleep. She sleeps. She enjoys sitting in her high chair sucking on frozen blueberries as I meal prep. What a dream girl. The most common thing people tell me is what a smiley and happy baby she is. It's so true. She is just content to be around the people who love her most. I am so lucky to be able to stay home and rear her and love her and kiss all her owies.
Then some mom guilt sets in as I get a flutter in my stomach about how I am ALMOST to the year mark of her life. Which means we are done breastfeeding and I get my body back. It's not that I don't love nourishing this perfect being. It's just that I am SO looking forward to her gaining independence and growing up. I am excited to watch her eat her first strawberry that isn't pureed. I am excited to watch her eat an ice cream cone. I am excited to watch her chase after her big sis. I have all the feels right now. MANNNNNNN. Don't have kids if you don't want to have an extra mushy, ultra-sensitive heart. For heaven's sakes, today we were late bringing Jane to ballet by 8 minutes. I was SO stressed out because her ballet teacher is no joke. Of course as I shooed Jane into class, and the teacher gave me a mean look and rolled her eyes. And all I wanted to do in that moment was cry. Geez, Court, get a grip. I spent the next hour being mad at the teacher and then I realized I was being silly. I went up to the teacher at the end of class and apologized for being late. She thanked me for the apology and then life goes on. Being late isn't ok. But being human is. Ugh. Such a hard balance!
I hope that my children see me as a strong mama. But I also want them to see my sensitivities and my humanness. I don't want to seem perfect but I wouldn't mind being seen as triumphant. As someone who can overcome a problem and learn from it. I just wanna be the best mama I can be. I want to be present for every moment. Even the bad ones. I want my children to have the best life possible. I want to watch them grow into wonderful, powerful, Godly people. I am along for the ride. Mama is taking her train of beautiful humans into the the land of health, happiness, and possibility. First stop! Costco. Cuz we are out of like everything.
Cheers to 6 months, Mae Valentine. You are mama's special girl.